Please, make it stop. Credit: VH1
I openly admit it: I love me a reality show. The Hills, American Idol, Rock of Love … watch ‘em all.
But there are places I draw the line. No more “Real World” or that “Road Rules Challenge” debacle. No “America’s Got Talent” (but yes to “So You Think You Can Dance“). No Kardashians of any kind (tho I would love to get paid to tweet like Kim).
And no — god, no — please, no — “Secrets of Aspen.” I knew it was going to bad, but I kinda felt a duty to check out the new VH1 show following a bunch of big-boobed, whiny women as they backstab, blab and use those big boobs to try to lure men to their fancy chalets.
Seriously? I couldn’t even finish the first episode, it was so annoying. It makes NYC Prep look like a Ken Burns documentary. Honestly, PC and Jessie come off like Prince Charming and Cinderella compared to these clowns. And, fashion note: Just because you spend a lot on a dress does not make it stylish. That pink way-too-tight mini dress with the pearls hanging all over it that show villain Laura tries on? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Mostly, I just cringed.
Needless to say, I couldn’t even make it through 30 minutes. I even joined the Facebook group, Aspen Against VH1′s Secrets of Aspen — already nearly 2,500 strong. The VH1 fan page has a measly 320 fans. Score one for taste.
But enough about “Aspen.” Can we talk about the new “Bachelor?” I told myself I wouldn’t watch — I mean, they picked Jake, that goody-two-shoes “oh, I’m just too nice” guy from Jillian’s “Bachelorette” show to star. This is the Jake who, despite having a rock hard bod, Ken doll looks and a successful career as a pilot (he wears a uniform, people!), admits he can never get a second date.
Um, maybe because he’s super annoying? Clearly, there’s a personality issue going on there. He blames it on being “too intense.” I’d opt for “too creepy.” Or maybe just “too boring.”
Of course, I did get sucked in — yes, I need a life — and I’m still laughing at the cheesiness of it all. ABC intentionally made this episode as cheesy as possible, right? I mean, not only did they subtitle it “On the Wings of Love,” (excuse me, I just threw up a little), but they actually showed Jake on his motorcycle — repeatedly — in “Top Gun” style, complete with bad soundtrack and phony looking sunset.
Oh, and to show him at home — he’s seen shirtless sawing wood in his backyard! Isn’t that some sort of code violation?
From the previews for the rest of the season, we learn one of his flock is having sex with someone on the show or connected with the show. Wow. That’s gotta hurt.
Someone, please find me some counseling and keep me away from this madness.
Finally, since we’re talking reality, I just can’t stop without commenting on Jersey Shore. Now, I am proud to admit I don’t watch this show, but I have been reading about it. And, of course, I saw the chick get jacked in the club on YouTube. Ouch.
Getting punched by a dude isn’t funny. But this is: New York Magazine offers the week’s top 10 catchphrases from the show. It almost makes me want to watch. Almost.
No related posts.
[...] while some of us may choose to spend the days shrouded in our Snuggies watching a “Jersey Shore” marathon, others prefer to curl up in a favorite chair, fireplace lit, with a great book. [...]